In 1969 Kubler-Ross published the 5 Stages of Grief. The stages are most commonly experienced by those suffering a loss through death, but also a personal loss such as job loss, divorce, or according to Wikipedia, “the ultimate demise of a favorite sporting team’s magical season”. There is no team I like that much. I propose one addition to that list, the running of a marathon. The Five Stages of Marathoning. As Kubler-Ross explains, most people will experience at least two of the five stages. During a typical 42.2K race I experience all the stages, some more than once. Some on repeat.
Denial — “Everything is okay. My IT Band won’t play a harrowing tune today. That stomach flu has cleared up. Even though I skipped all of my speed training sessions I’m ready“. I enjoy denial. That wonderful moment when you can convince yourself everything will be Fine even though all arrows point to Not Fine. It’s a shame denial is so temporary. And followed by crushing reality.
Anger — “Why do I have crappy genetics? Where are my fast twitch fibres?“. Those in the angry stage have a raging case of the Why Mes and the Not Fairs. They envy the “easy” run of others and are looking for someone to blame for their misfortune. This is why you need to test drive your running partners, lest you become the recipient of misguided run rage. I, for that very reason, race alone. A friend who happens to be a divorce lawyer once joked that Las Vegas Marathon has a run-through wedding around 8K so he should set up a run through divorce at 35K. A honeymoon to The Wall can get messy. I think his would be the busier of the run-throughs.
Bargaining — “Just let me make it to the finish line and I’ll give all my sneakers to Shoes4Africa“. With bargaining there is hope that the inevitable can be postponed, usually by negotiating with a higher power for a better outcome in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. You’ll never skip a run again. You will only eat organic fair trade chocolate. They say people find religion as they try to run through The Wall. They are right.
Depression — “What does it matter, I should just quit right now. It’s just a stupid race. I don’t care about my time goal. I can’t believe I paid money to do this.“ As reality takes hold and the runner begins to understand the certainly of their pain and anguish hopelessness sets in. If you see someone at mile 22 sobbing on the sidelines and shaking their fist at the heavens chances are they in deep.
Acceptance — “So what if I can’t beat Oprah. She had an entourage of trainers and I’m pounding the pavement alone. It’s okay that I missed my goal time, finishing is the real reward. One more kilometre and then I ever have to do this again.“. In the final stage there is peace with accepting the inevitable. A missed time goal. A DNF. A shuffle instead of a kick across the finish. The runner understands that the struggle is almost over. The end is near. You’ll never do this again. Until you do.
Title Reference: Smokey Robinson and The Miracles - The Tracks of My Tears. From the album Going to a Go-Go. 1965.