Tag Archives: Boston Marathon

Hey, you know they’re all the same

I thought I found them.  I was wrong.  Physio-appointment wrong.  10-minute running shoe buying is not recommended.  3-hour running shoe buying isn’t working for me either. 

I have purchased five pairs of running shoes since January.  Less than 50 days before I’m supposed to run 42.2K in Boston and I still don’t have a pair of shoes that I don’t want to tear off my feet mid-run.  I am Goldilocks – too hard, too soft, too this, too that, but so far nothing is just right.  I’m begging, can someone please recommend a lightweight high mileage trainer for skinny feet and a neutral gait?  Five shoes in two months.  I will try anything.

So wah, my 827 pairs of shoes aren’t just right.  I feel a little like the guilt-ridden kid who just can’t  finish their brocoli despite knowing all about the starving children around the world.   Maybe I should ship the shoe discards to the hungry kids?  I’m not sure how cosmic balance works.

Title: Jimmy Eat World – The Middle.  2002.

It’s astounding, time is fleeting, madness takes its toll

This weekend’s long run was supposed to a short and relaxing mini-taper before Monster Month.   That I ruined by getting locked in the cemetery, wrenching my knee trying to scale the slippery spiky 10 foot fence (unsuccessfully, my ego regretfully adds), then running in circles until finding a security guard to come to my damsel in distress aid. 

The gate is locked, he deadpans as he drives up beside me.  I know, I wisely nod, omitting that I nearly impaled myself at the north end trying to escape.  Would you like me to open the gate he asks.  No, I reply.  I prefer to spend the night trapped with the undead, but thank you for enquiring.  He gave me a strange look and escorted me to the gate. 

This Monster Month will be Zombie free.  Pending another cemetery incident.  Not that there will be anything monstrous about my month, lazy low-mileage runner that I am.  But I do have two “races” in March (confession: I’m paying for the motivation to run a bit faster on my long run because I can’t do it on my own)  and I might try to find a track that isn’t under a foot of snow and/or illegal for runners.  Or I might just take it easy.  Que sera sera.

The scariest thing about Monster Month is that race day quickly follows.  I’m not prepared for April.  50 days to go.

Title:  Rocky Horror Picture Show – The Time Warp. 1973.

Mixed Tapes Volume 7

Time may change me

The BAA makes a decision and runners around the world freak out!

Today my twitter feed exploded with #BAA hashtags.  My inbox was similarly inundated.  Oblivious until I got home from work, the running world changed while I sat at my desk.  For the two of you who haven’t heard, the Boston Athletic Association announced the much anticipated adjustments to the qualifying standards.  In brief, there are three key changes:

1. Effective in 2012 is a rolling registration system, with faster times giving you earlier access to registration.  No more first come first served.  Instead, fastest first.  This is a new “performance-based” process.  There will be four waves, with those who beat their qualifying time by 20 minutes or more getting first dibs, then ten minutes, then five minutes, then everyone else.  So the faster you are relative to your qualifying time the earlier you can register.   If the race fills up before the final wave is reached registration closes and you are out of luck.  During week two (if space permits), when registration opens to all qualifiers, entry order will be ranked based on time, so a 3.23 runners gets in ahead of a 3.24 runner.   This adds an interesting element of uncertainty to your qualifying time – you may BQ, but ‘by how much’ now really matters.   Will wave one fill all slots?  Wave one and two?  You won’t know until registration week if your qualifying time will get you a spot before the inevitable sell-out.   

2. Effective in 2013 all times for all categories will drop by 5 minutes.  And 59 seconds (that’s right, no more grace period).  Truthfully, I was expecting deeper cuts.  Especially for women and masters runners.  I’m a little surprised the same 30 minute gender differential and the big 15 minute age jumps remain.  Much ado has been made about the alleged unfairness to young men and I suspect this decision will not sit well with a subset of that cohort (i.e. the subset who can’t qualify).

3. Registration will take place over a fixed two-week period in mid September (September 12-23 in 2011), so the big fall races will be too late in the year for the following spring.  As expected, the qualifying window is also now only one year – from September to September.  No more double dipping with those fall races.  If you ever wanted to organize an August Marathon, now is the time!

What does this all mean for me?  Or you?  If you want to register in wave one in 2012 you need to run 20 minutes under the current standard and in 2013 you need to run 25 minutes under the current standard (20 minutes under the new standard). 

I may get hate mail, but I’m okay with these changes.  Not everyone who qualifies got in under the old system, not everyone who qualifies will get in under the new system.  I would rather my chances be dependent on my performance than my server that day.  Boston is supposed to be a competitive race, so if I get locked out by faster runners I can’t complain.  Now if you need me, I’ll be at the track.

 Title: David Bowie – Changes.  1971.

Running with the shadows of the night

If Candlemas Day is bright and clear/ There’ll be two winters in the year

Groundhog not to scale.

I am a skeptic when it comes to rodent prognostications, but Wiarton Willie (because all groundhogs must have alliterative names) was born on 45th parallel, midway between the Equator and the North Pole, which I think means his predictions are more accurate than those of his prophesying competitors.  Or maybe he’s just more interested in his shadow than most groundhogs, which reportedly only emerge in winter for food and/or sex.  This year Willie did not see his shadow, so I think that means six more weeks until The Boston.

Title: Pat Benatar – Shadows of the Night.  1982.

Can’t buy me love

I did something impulsive. 

I bought new shoes. 

In about ten minutes. 

And by new I mean a new brand

My previous shoe-buying record was 60 minutes, one exchange, 60 minutes.

And I ended buying the new model of my old shoes.

Like the princess sleeping on the pea, my picky feet do not readily find comfort imprisoned in shoes.

Thank you Mizuno for “improving” the model I have worn for the last three years.

My picky feet rejected the “improvement” before I even tied the laces.

I switched brands with 80 days to go before Boston.

 

Title: The Beatles – Can’t Buy me Love.  1964.

A three hour tour

The No Training Marathon Training Program was put to the test last weekend during the Bermuda Triangle Challenge race trifecta: one mile Friday, 10K Saturday, marathon Sunday.  It works, if by works your marathon goal is a trophy or a BQ with lots of time to spare*.    

*Individual results may vary.

Warning:  Results not guaranteed.  Not recommended for runners. 

Title: The Wellingtons – The Ballad of Gilligan’s Isle. 1964.

Some guys do nothing but complain

It’s been three days and you’ve heard the story a hundred times.  The Boston Marathon filled in 8 seconds.  Endless debates.  Lucky runners.  Unlucky runners.  Overjoyed runners.  Furious runners.  Deserving runners.  Undeserving runners. 

The “surprise” by BAA officials at the quick sellout, despite months of aggressive advertising, pushing back the date by weeks, and a fear-mongering campaign turned self-fulfilling prophecy that the race would sellout in one day.  Does anyone believe this isn’t exactly what they wanted?  Except maybe that website bungle.  

MARATHON REGISTRATION STARTED FILLED UP DAYS
2011 Oct. 18 Oct. 18 1
2010 Sept. 9 Nov. 13 65
2009 Sept. 3 Jan. 25 144
2008 Sept. 5 Feb. 26 174
2007 Sept. 6 Mar. 14 189
2006 Sept. 7 Mar. 29 203

Yeah, I for one was “shocked”.  If they keep up this pace next year the race will sellout before it opens.  So what to do?  The BAA made a statement suggesting change is a possibility for 1012, but what change?  You decide.  I’m certain the BAA officials are My Running Shorts fans, so your vote matters.    

Title: Rod Stewart – Some Guys have All the Luck.  1984.

Y’all ready for this?

I couldn’t call myself a run blogger if I didn’t write about this:

2011 BOSTON MARATHON ATHLETE REGISTRATION

Registration is closed for the 2011 Boston Marathon.

The Boston Marathon does not have a waiting list, late registration on race weekend, or race day registration.

The names of all official entrants will soon be published on the B.A.A. web site.

Please note that bib numbers are not transferable.  Those attempting to transfer their bib numbers, as well as those in receipt of a transfered entry, will be disqualified.

The Boston Athletic Association thanks you for your cooperation.

The 116th Boston Marathon will be run on Monday, April 16, 2012; tentatively, applications will begin to be accepted in October 2011.

BAA officials shut down registration at 5.03 pm, with 12,000 registered by noon (about 20,000 spots are available for qualifiers; the remaining 5000 go to charities/corporate/community partners).  Let the six months of qualifying time and charity entry debates begin!

Oh yeah, I got in.  See you there.  If you registered in time.  And by in time I mean within the 8-hour window of opportunity.

Title: 2 unlimited – Get Ready for This.  1991.

Heartbreak Hill

Available at amazon.ca

Heartbreak Hill by Tom Lonergan is a cheesy murder mystery.  With extra cheese.  Easy to read (and somewhat predictable) the stops quickly pass while reading this subway-ride page turner.  This is a book to be read with the appropriate expectations. 

The cover is … awesome.  Requisite running legs blurring into the evil eyes, all in black and white, and punctuated with triple fonts to make you afraid, very afraid.   This is another softcover, so there is no author photo to critique; however, there is an impressive blurb about the author running the Boston Marathon, his hometown race, 17 times.  Okay, he has cred.

Lonergan brings us homicide detective Quinn, the beguiling singer Raven who just happens to be the race’s first ever celebrity runner (yet later in the book there are reports of 17 celebrities running, but remember, lower your expectations), a race director who explodes in his detonating Glowerman shoes originally made with his wife’s waffle iron (love it), a troublesome ex-wife FBI agent, and a killer madman targeting fifteen thousand runners and 2.3 million spectators.  With the cast in place all you need are a few foggy evening attacks (check), totally unrealistic sexual encounters (check), and at least one falling out and subsequent reunion with a friend/flame/ex-wife (check, check, and check).    

Perhaps my favourite paragraph in the book:  Quinn looked down from the top floor of the Four Seasons as Raven ran in the morning gloom.  She was dressed in steely lycra.  She carried a yellow Discman and wore black high-top cross-trainers.  This book was written in 2002.  Raven, for some reason, was running in 1984.  I’m not entirely sure when Tom Lonergan ran those 17 Bostons but my money is on “before I was born”.

The book is not a literary masterpiece and fans of the murder-mystery genre will be disappointed in the predicatable plotline, but fans of the running genre looking for a fun long weekend read with the Boston Marathon and exploding Nike knock-offs as a backdrop might enjoy this book.  In fact, you may be pleasantly surprised.  I enjoyed it.  But I also enjoy Ghostwhisperer.  Don’t judge.  Or throw stones at glass houses.  Or something like that. 

Runshort’s Review: 2.5/5 sneakers.

25 or 6 to 4

The weekend.  You know what that means.  Movie night.  Or a video sourced out by the Endorphin Junkie night.  

How many martini glasses could you fill with all the sweat that pours off the runners during the race?  Possible answers to improbable questions about the Boston Marathon.  Enjoy Boston by the numbers, as calculated by a math guy, not a running guy.  Featuring The Fermi Equation. 

p.s. I have Boston regret.  Just a wee bit.  This too shall pass. 

Title Reference: Chicago – 25 or 6 to 4.  1970.

Suburban trees, suburban speed

Because I procrastinate I did not register in time to run the Boston Marathon this year, despite running three qualifying marathons (including Boston) in 2009.  On Monday 25,000 runners will line up in Hopkinton.  I will hop the subway to work.  Secretly I’m relieved – Boston is expensive, and there’s a little bit of pressure, and I hate a long cold pre-race wait.  Although I’m not running Boston this year I will busy myself thinking about the celebrity runners who have crossed and will cross that famous finish line. 

In a few daysValerie Bertinelli will attempt to join the surprisingly short list of Boston Bound celebs (the stars seem to prefer New York City for marathon running).  Only one celeb qualified to run and that same runner requalified at Boston.  But he’s a pro athlete celeb and so I don’t think he counts.  The rest of the runners in this star-studded field would not qualify based on their Boston finish time.  But they are in good company.  Less than 40% of Boston runners requalify while running the Boston Marathon, even though approximately 80% earned their spot with a qualifying race.

The List:

Lance Armstrong.  SuperLance ran the Boston Marathon in 2008 at the age of 36.  Finish time = 2.50.58.  BQ time = 3.15.  Difference = 25 minutes to spare.  But I already said he doesn’t count.

Michael Dukakis.  In 1951 this highschooler and future politician ran the Boston Marathon at the young age of 17.  Finish time = 3.31.00.  BQ time = 3.10.  Difference = 21 minutes. 

Will Ferrell.  This funnyman isn’t joking around.  He ran the Boston Marathon in 2003 at the age of 35.  Finish time = 3.56.12.  BQ time = 3.15.  Difference = 41 minutes.

Lisa Ling.  This talk show host turned reporter ran the Boston Marathon in 2002 at the age of 28.  Finish time = 4.34.18.  BQ time = 3.40.  Difference = 54 minutes.

David James Elliott.  JAG’s Harmon ran the Boston Marathon in 2000 at the age of 39.  Finish time = 4:57:23.  Tip = fewer crunches more running.  BQ time = 3.20 (I gave him the 40 year old rate).  Difference = 1 hour and 37 minutes.

Ali Landry.  Ran the Boston Marathon in 2002 at the age of 28.  Finish time = 5.41.41.  BQ time = 3.40.  Difference = 2 hours and 1 minute.

Mario Lopez.   Ran the Boston Marathon (with his now ex-girlfriend Ali) in 2002 at the age of 29.  Finish time = 5.41.41.  BQ time = 3.10.  Difference = 2 hours and 31 minutes.  And he blamed his girlfriend for his time.  Boo.

Tell me, who did I miss??  

 

Title Reference: Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers – Roadrunner.  1972.

This is life, the one you got

Valerie Bertinelli is running the Boston Marathon.  One kilometre for every pound she lost eating prepackaged food.  Okay, I made that last part up because I liked it when numbers intersect in random but seemingly meaningful ways.  She didn’t qualify her way in, but is raising money to support cancer research at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston.  The team of 500 runners wish to add another $4.4 million to the $43 million raised since the marathon challenge began in 1990.  If my mental math is correct, that’s an average of $8,880 per person.  That’s a tough goal for the average runner.  I hope Jenny Craig is feeling generous.

Jenny Craig sure lucked out with this spokesperson.  Excuse me Wikipedia, I mean activist: “she considers herself a health and weight-loss activist rather than a hired weight-loss spokesperson“.  They say no publicity is bad publicity, but I’m not sure that holds in the weight loss industry.  No offense Kirstie Alley and your near fatal fall off the boxed food wagon.  I wonder if the newest addition to the Jenny Craig family, Jason Alexander, will lace up for New York 2010?  Imagine the Seinfeld inspired alarm clock jokes.  I give the Jenny Craig food producers a year before we see some sort of marathon power bar in their line of products.  p.s. That last sentence entitles me to a cut of the profits.

To my celebrity-obsessed readers, what do you predict for her finish time? Will she beat Oprah?

 

Title Reference:  Polly Cutter – This Is It.  Theme Song from One Day at a Time .

All I want for Christmas

 
Photo Source: Far Gone Greetings

Title Reference:  Spike Jones & His City Slickers.  All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth.  1948.

Just sitting here watching the wheels go round

The Boston Athletic Association tried to warn me.   I didn’t listen.  They recently sent a ‘register now for the Boston Marathon before time runs outs’ (not an exact quote) email.  The message cautioned that registration for 2010 was outpacing the record set for the 2009 race, but I figured I was safe until at least mid-December.  I secretly thought they were trying to drum up more hype.  Because the one thing this race needs is more hype.  Once upon a time the race sold out in March.  For the 2008 edition the race sold out in February.  The 2009 race sold out in January.  But 2010 in November?  The trend clearly predicted a December sell out.  November is a phenomenal increase.  If only my bank account showed such explosive growth.   

Last year I eagerly registered, technically applied pending approval and verification of my time, the day it opened.  This year I was lazy.  And flip-flopping.  Flip, flop.  Run, don’t run.  I just spent heaps of money on Marine Corps and New York and wanted to let my wallet cool down before spending even more money on running.  The 2010 Boston Marathon price increased to a whopping $175 (for international runners).  Less than NYC but expensive enough to give pause.  So many excuses reasons to procrastinate. 

11/13/2009  REGISTRATION FOR THE 2010 BOSTON MARATHON HAS CLOSED.

Registration for the 2010 Boston Marathon has closed.  Registration began on September 9, and the Boston Athletic Association is unable to accept additional entries.

I waited too long.  I’m not sure if the number of BQers increased this year, if the recession is really over, or if the Boston fright-mail ignited a mass rush of registers who, like myself, are easily scared.  What I do know is that the marathon sold out on Friday the 13th.  I don’t know what that means, but it’s spooky.  The race is closed.  No more runners allowed.  Tough luck Runshorts. 

Even tougher luck for the Last Chance for Boston Race held each February in Dublin, Ohio.  Perhaps they need to rebrand it as First Chance for Next Year’s Boston.  Or something catchier.  I’m not in marketing.  The lawyers earned their paycheck with this disclaimer:  No refunds are given if the Boston Marathon reaches it’s cap prior to this event. 

So, my spring race will not be the Boston Marathon.  I’m not heartbroken.  I know that if I really, really wanted to run Boston again I would already have a registration card in hand.  Still, I wanted the choice to be mine.  On to Race Plan B and a New Year’s Resolution to be more decisive.  Or not.  Or I can hire a decision maker.  Anyone up for the job?  Your first task is to select my spring race!

 

Title Reference: John Lennon – Watching the Wheels. From the album Double Fantasy. 1981.