Tag Archives: blog

Weekend Mix Tape Volume 9

Posted on March 5, 2011 | Leave a comment

All running and no reading makes a runner fast dull.  Enjoy.

A car deliberately tries to run down a group of cyclists.  Like everything these days, it was caught on tape.  Mais amore, menos motor.  #Notanaccident

Found, one famous waffle iron.  Or an old rusty hoax.   Waffles.   Now I want #pancakes.

Mark Remy scores an exclusive interview with the robot marathon winner.  Thanks to keen programmers, no walls were hit in the running of this marathon.  #tigerblood

A recent study found that Americans are fatter than Canadians.   Canadians are quite fat.  Americans are fatter than Canadians.  Therefore Americans are fatter than quite fat?  #weightwars

Do it yourself gear for when you just can’t get what you want in the store.  Like FuelBelt banana holders.  #thingsnooneneeds

Is any mile ever a junk mile?  What if your poop is high and your rudder deep?  #oxfordvswebster

The Canadian men announce their fall marathon plans and a 36 year record holder gets worried.  #youngguns

Anyone can run with their dog, but your cat may have untapped marathon potential.  #stupidpettricks

Man runs Toyko Marathon while streaming the 6.5 hour odyssey on an assortment of Apple made gadgets, including on iPad monitor strapped to his back.  Oh, and that guy from the Chilean mine ran it too, 30 minutes fast than in New York.   But he didn’t live tweet along the way.  #luddite.

Man will attempt to solve 100 Rubik’s cubes will running the London Marathon.   It takes him 31 seconds to solve one cube.  That’s less than an hour of puzzle solving time for a four hour marathoner.  His potential is at least 400.  #underachiever.

Ron Hill’s road to the London Olympics.  First step, a sub 60-minute 10K.  #longshot

Comfortable is in, over/under/neutral is out.  Someday our shoeless descendants will curiously look at those over-structured shoes on display in a local museum and say no wonder it took them hours to run -or win- a marathon.  #winningwarlock

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Friday’s Mixed Tape Volume 5

Posted on January 8, 2011 | 10 Comments

The first Friday of 2011.  Technically Saturday, but I forgot to press publish yesterday.  Even though no one seems to read these posts or follow the links, I feel fulfilled having shared with you the best of running on the world wide webs.  If you choose to remain unfulfilled and uninformed I will still fall asleep at night knowing I have done my small part.

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I love my calendar girl

Posted on January 6, 2011 | 8 Comments

I’m not a year-end review kind of person.  And honestly, I’m a little relieved to wave farewell to 2010.  The year that time will forget.  Even if I need to drink a lot to make that happen.  Erm, I mean, the stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com helpfully mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a summary of its overall blog health.  They concluded “wow”, which seems a bit exaggerated.  I’m a skeptical geek who wants to know the label and numbers that go into each Blog-o-Meter rating.

Some bloggers post daily about the miles they run and the food they eat and get 843 comments per post.  I post a few times a week about nothing and although my commentors are witty and intelligent, I don’t draw in a huge number of participators – the classic measure of blog success.  I’m certainly not a “wow” by conventional standards.  But I’ll take it.

  Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

About 3 million people visit the Taj Mahal every year. This blog was viewed about 44,000 times in 2010. If it were the Taj Mahal, it would take about 5 days for that many people to see it.

In 2010, there were 155 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 362 posts. There were 73 pictures uploaded. That’s about a picture per week.

The busiest day of the year was August 29th with 303 views. The most popular post that day was If you’re gonna play the game, you gotta learn to play it right.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were facebook.com, Google Reader, google.ca, mail.live.com, and WordPress Dashboard.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for myrunshorts, my running shorts, how far is a marathon, my running shorts blog, and my run shorts.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

If you’re gonna play the game, you gotta learn to play it right August 2010

2

About The Runner March 2009

3

About My Running Shorts March 2009

4

Oh, the places you’ll go … running. November 2009

5

Here’s how you run a marathon March 2009

 

Title: Neil Sedaka – Calendar Girl. 1961.

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You’ve either got it or you don’t, 2010 edition

Posted on January 3, 2011 | 8 Comments

Instead of the usual “best of” or “most popular”  or “top 10 in 10″ lists detailing the year in review I take a different approach: a countdown tribute to my most unpopular posts. 

I did this in 2009.  The Losers Countdown of 2009 post cracked this year’s bottom ten.  That, Alanis Morissette, is irony.  Also, it’s not true; but if it was true it would have been ironic.

Last year most of the unread were posted in March.  This year it was December that fell short.  Why?  No clue.  Maybe I’m boring during season changing months.  Whatever the reason, enjoy these old posts for the first time.

Countdown with me to the #1 loser of 2010:

13. Only boys that save their pennies.  Dilbert runs.  Or at least buys running shoes.

12. Every move you make, every breath you take.  Ohm.  In my case, no-hm.  Not a single class.  YET!  How’s that for optimism.

11. I’d have to pack my bags and go.  The Toronto Marathon battle ends, in peaceful resentment.

10. Made of snow, I don’t know, how I fit in.   The snow-runner. 

9. The coldest night of the year.  Welcome, winter.  Really, I mean it.  Welcome.  With a new year’s update.

8. The marvelous little toy.  Attempt #429 to treadmill run.  More accurately to treadmill watch.  It’s just as painful.

7. Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees.  The summer I like to call “hit the dirt”.

6. Tippity tippity tap of happy feet.  Ahh, the good doctor.  Except now the link is inactive due to a “copyright claim by Dr. Seuss”.

5. Join in any reindeer games.  Hint: Use the nose.

4. The snowbird sings the song he always sings.  Running for after your dinner. 

3. Something strange in the neighbourhood.  Running from to ghosts. 

2. I’ve Been Searching High and Low, part IV.  I guess they found whatever it was.

…

and the loser is

…

1. Friday’s Mixed Tape Volume 3 and Friday’s Mixed Tape Volume 4.  It’s a tie.  Perhaps I should rethink this new idea.  Maybe my young readers are unfamiliar with “mixed tapes”.  It’s like a CD, but more rectangular.  Perhaps my young readers are unfmailiar with “CDs”.  Sigh.  It’s like a playlist.  But instead of music it’s reading.  About running.

An honourable mention goes to my favourite of the losers; although not lame enough to crack the bottom 13 it was close enough to include in this esteemed group.

Title:  The Veronicas – Popular.  2008.

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Friday’s Mixed Tape Volume 4

Posted on December 31, 2010 | 2 Comments

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It’s Friday!  It’s New Year’s Eve!  Why are you reading a blog?  Is it because NYE is a money pit filled with too-high expectations and long taxi queue and you’d rather stay home with Husband snuggled in your PJs, eating fondue and watching movies? 

Another year is winding down but the runners do not rest, so this week’s mixed tape is double-sided.  Enjoy these stories tonight as you wait for the clock to strike 12 or tomorrow as you recover from too much of whatever it is you do. 

  1. Ten things marathon organizers won’t tell you.  Like bigger isn’t always better.
  2. Kenyan Olympic Marathon gold-medalist Samuel Wanjiru is charged with threatening to kill his wife.  Isn’t running supposed to relieve stress?
  3. The other side of the barefoot running craze.  Unnaturally natural?  Naturally unnatural?
  4. The world’s first calorie burning soda!  I mean ?.  Raises your metabolism by 12% for three hours.  Just don’t read the ingredient list.
  5. Weight loss DURING the marathon improves running time.  Step away from the Gatorade.
  6. Louie Zamperini.  During the 1936 Olympics he finished eighth in the 5000m, but impressed the German leader enough to earn a handshake.  Instead of running again in 1940 he went to war.  His remarkable life story is chronicled in the best seller Unbroken.
  7. New year’s math.  How many pounds of fat did you burn while running in 2010?  Maybe calculate this one after NYE. 
  8. Found: the secret to running faster. Je tiens l’affaire!  That’s right, the secret is in French.
  9. The Track and Field Blog makes a few fearless predictions for 2011.  I’m not a track and field super-expert, but this one seems really unlikely: Someone on a message board will become enraged over a trivial occurrence, perceiving it as an insult.
  10. Do you dress the way you run? I dress the way I’d like to run.  Like Paula.  Tall socks and all.  From the same vault of humour, Men in Tights, the male runner’s progression from sweat pants to tight pants.
  11. A year-end post that isn’t filled with accomplishments and resolutions.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that.  Things that pissed off this New Jersey -but not the Jersey Shore part- runner in 2010.
  12. So you got a fancy Garmin gadget for Christmas.  Now what?
  13. 4 Miles on the track on a windy day.  The inside story.  I have a similar story, except it’s told in kilometres.

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I’ve been searching low and high, Part IV

Posted on December 28, 2010 | Leave a comment

I haven’t done THIS in a while. 

People find this blog whilst searching for all sorts of weird and worrisome things.  The New Year’s Resolution searchers are particularly disturbed.  How do the winter festivus searchers compare?  I give you the December highlights and lowlights: 

runner pee shorts blog - An entire blog dedicated to runners who pee?  I suppose we all do, eventually.  But not usually in our shorts.  I think not anyway.  As a softcore runner I can’t speak about the peeing practices of the hardcore subset. 

“sex in running shorts” - Again.  The quotes are not mine.  The googler wanted to be really sure the search engines did not mistakenly return running shorts sex.  The sex and running shorts theme appears almost daily.  Runners are a lusty group.  Must be those short shorts.   See also see through running shorts, again.  And going commando in running shorts, again.  And grete waitz marathon poop, again.  Lusty and preoccupied with bodily waste removal.  The lack of originally is less than inspiring.

my running horts - Hort is most commonly a surname or a short name for horticulture.  I hope they are looking for a runner named Hort and not some plant form that has become mobile and able to achieve running speeds, because after the Killer Hogweed scare of 2010 and a recent re-reading of The Triffids I have a healthy fear of greenery.

like a thunder running - Perhaps a more effective search term would be ‘heavy footstrike running’.  Or ‘ACDC running playlist’.  Or ‘I over-indulged in December and now I weight ten pounds more than I did in November running’.    Take a lesson from “sex in running shorts” and be specific. 

running metaphor life - I am not that deep.  You need to look elsewhere.

reasons not to love me – Humm, this is rather sad.  Unless someone is looking to expand on the generic it’s not you it’s me breakup tactic with specific examples.  I am wondering why that search phrase landed them here.  See also women with hairy toes.  It may be no coincidence that the two searches were back to back.  Still doesn’t explain why me.

blog running short satin and blog running short en satin - Glossy running?  In French?  I mean en francais?

go - Short and to the point.  What point, I’m not sure.  But it’s to that one.

 

Title:  The Who – The Seeker.  From the album Meaty Beaty Big and Bouncy.  1971.

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Is it safe to dance?

Posted on June 7, 2010 | 2 Comments

Photo Source: Liketotally80s.com

Copia Verborum recently blogged about an interesting finding during her pack for an out-of-state move.  Safety pins.  Everywhere.  I think all runners can relate.  There are hundreds of them in my house.  I find them between the sofa cushions, under the bed, in all of my bags, in the cookie jar.  I usually migrate them to the washroom (why I decided safety pins belong in the WC is a question I can’t answer), where they sit, awaiting a greater purpose that never materializes.  There was a year in my school girl days during which we fashionably safety-pinned the bottom of my jeans so they were super-tight, but I don’t see  myself revisiting that trend.  I could moonlight as a lock-pick, but that seems a futile career if I don’t intend to followup with theft.  I suggested to C.V. we bring back the Friendship Pin Craze of the 80s.  It seems fitting given that those friendship pins were worn on shoes.  It was the Facebook precursor to Friend Counting.  The more decorated the shoe, the more popular the wearer.  I’m not convinced I can talk my run club into crafting with beads.  Waste not, want not, so  tell me creative readers, what do you do with you extra safety pins?  

Title Reference: Men Without Hat – The Safety Dance.  1982.

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Dogs bark, long days, not dark

Posted on May 22, 2010 | 4 Comments

Image Source: www.vintagepostcards.org

It’s finally here.  Victoria Day Weekend, the official kickoff to summer.  Thank you Queen Victoria for the perfectly timed long weekend birthday.  I’m going on a weekend running hiatus, so I present a selection of running blogs to keep you amused until my return.  If your blog didn’t make this list (if you ever read “About Me” you know that I like lists 13 items long and therefore omitted some fabulous wordsmiths) leave a comment so my tens of readers can discover your blogging genius.  [Tip: click the blog name to link to the blog].

Zero to Boston.  He seems to have abandoned his post, but the old entries are worth a visit.  Or two.  

Running is Funny.  Lighten up.  

I Like Margarine.  He’s a fictional character, but he’s based on a true story.  

Sweat Science.  A little geek on the run.  

Working Up a Sweat in Toronto.  She convinced me to drink and run.  

Ron Hill’s Alter Ego.  Marathon gold in 2012 is, and I quote, “in the bag”.  

Chasing the Kenyans.  Motto: make yourself hurt and then push harder.  

Track and Field Superblog.  ABBA impersonator.  

Pen at Peace.  Cupcake baking Ironperson.  

Angry Runner.  The anti-blogger.  

Copia Verborum.   I hope you speak Latin.  Seize the road.  

Cheaper Than Therapy.  A drinker with a running problem.  

The Running Laminator.  Kid doctor, runner, writer.  

You are very welcome.  

Title Reference: Islands – Jogging Gorgeous Summer.

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I’ve been searching low and high, Part III

Posted on March 3, 2010 | 6 Comments

My first addict.  It’s true, yesterday someone found this blog by googling “addicted to running shorts”.  They should get together with “i love my running shorts” and start a fan club.  I am a damn fine writer, so it was just a matter of time (a year, to be precise) before reading this blog developed into a full-blown compulsion/love affair. 

My Running Shorts has both addicted/adoring and strange/worrisome fans.  Folks come here seeking information on ”exhibiting in short running shorts”, “sex in ruuning [sic] shorts.com”, “runners shorts weeing”, and “something so disturbing and explicit my censors removed it and I am trying to repress the memory of the words”.  I immediately ban those weirdos.  Or I would, if I had that kind of power.  Which I do not.  Yet.  

I am very intrigued by searches for ”wonder woman running shorts” because, if I recall correctly, she didn’t exactly wear shorts so much as a very uncomfortable looking leotard.  The man, and I’m making a gender assumption, seeking “spongebob running shorts” probably does not live in a rainy climate.  Those of us who live in four season locales like to wick, not absorb, moisture.   (Also, the anonymous, presumably male, spongebob shorts seeker is no mystery to me).  I hypothesize that bunny running shorts” is training for a job at mansion.  You gotta look good in the grotto.  I’m still scratching my head over “barenaked running shorts”.  That’s more confusing than the see-through running shorts controversy of 2009.

In case you missed it …

I’ve been searching low and high, Part II

I’ve been searching low and high, Part I

Title Reference:  The Who – The Seeker.  From the album Meaty Beaty Big and Bouncy.  1971.

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When you were young

Posted on March 1, 2010 | 24 Comments

Today My Running Shorts celebrates the milestone one year anniversary (birthday?).  When I started writing people -mostly  people who do not run- questioned my ability to sustain a blog about a limited topic.  They underestimated my tendency to find adventure on the run.  And the tendency for adventure to find me while I’m running.

To celebrate I share with you my 10 Greatest Hits in year one (based on number of views).  For my 10 greatest misses go here. 

Counting down, from #10 down to #1:

10. Miles IV searches for a new name and, I hope, new luck.  Introducing ?

9. Are you a runner or a jogger? In short: if you are reading this, you are a runner.

8. Running on a beloved childhood street.  Sesame Street.

7. How far is THIS marathon?  And other fun questions.

6. The day I hated running.  Otherwise known as the Waterfront 1/2 Marathon.

5. How to outrun a bear.  Answer: you can’t.

4. The red carpet to the New York City Marathon.  Are you faster than a celebrity?

3. Fox on the Run.  Will run for Michael J Fox.

2. The Underwear Affair.  To wear or not to wear?

And the #1 post from Year 1 is …..

1. Barney Stintson tells us how to run marathon.  Step 1: start running.

 

Title Reference:  The Killers – When You Were Young.  From the album Sam’s Town. 2006.

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I’ve been searching low and high, Part II

Posted on January 8, 2010 | 5 Comments

The moment the year changes would-be resolutioners flock to my gym and steal my favourite spin bike and the one bearable spot next to the door in my so-hot-I-want-to-die yoga classes.  I practice the fine art of patience and wait for them to disappear on January 21.  I was not, however, expecting the online onslaught of google searchers seeking information about running shorts.  I suppose it makes sense that those new gym goers will have a mulitude of shorts-related fashion questions.  Unless they go to my YMCA, in which case demin cutoffs from 1974 and an XXL tshirt-with-purchase from a case of beer will suffice.

In 2009 running shorts lover sought me out in search of answers to their short shorts questions (click to see Part I).  In the seven days that have passed in 2010 they have flocked to my blog in search of … 

  1. my running shorts erection - This search term sent two people.  Or one desperate person twice.   I’ve heard Viagra is a running enhancer, just make sure you have room to, erm, accomodate.
  2. loincloth running shorts – Does loincloth wick?
  3. running shorts banana hammock - When that liner just isn’t enough you need the full support of a built-in banana hammock.  Suddenly men can sympathize with the women who need to wear two bras. 
  4. skimpy running shorts – Are there any other kind?
  5. woman with bigger legs than men – I weight less than most (fat) children and I have bigger legs than those sub 2.10 Kenyans.  Be more specific with your searches.
  6. running shorts for rain – They don’t get wet.  For treadmill use only.
  7. i’m a women who pooped in her pants – I do not know if this is running related or just one wild new year’s eve.  I hope she found whatever she was searching for.
  8. panties underneath compression shorts? – My weird aversion to the word panties aside, finally, a question I can answer.

Title Reference:  The Who – The Seeker.  From the album Meaty Beaty Big and Bouncy.  1971.

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You’ve either got it or you don’t

Posted on December 28, 2009 | 4 Comments

Everyone loves an end of year countdown.  A shameful number of best/most/worst  “celebrity” lists of breakups, makeups, shakeups, and deaths lure me in with perky cohosts and promises of amusement in two minute segments.  This year I’m boycotting any countdown that features John, Kate, or their eight.  Or Octomom.  Or Susan Boyle’s singing/makeover/make back under.  Or the Farrah vs. Micheal death match.  Or Oprah’s retirement.  Or Rhianna’s bad decisions.  Or Tiger’s wood.

In keeping with this fine journalistic tradition, I present an end of year countdown tribute to my most unpopular blog posts of 2009, as determined by total number of views.  Or lack thereof.  What makes them so unpopular?  Suspiciously, every finalist except one was posted in March 2009.   Spring fever?  March madness?  New blog blues?

Count down the dirty dozen to the lowest of the low, posta non grata, the #1 www.myrunshorts.com reject of 2009:

12.  It’s All About the Jacket.  The question is, am I brave enough to wear it?

11.  Dressed for Success.  I have a modest wish list.  #1, in-suite laundry.

10.  The long and the short of it.  Need an excuse for your lackluster times?  Blame your knuckle-dragging ancestors. 

9.  Me vs The Machine.  On the road to nowhere.  Subtitle: Yes, treadmilling is a form of torture.

8.  Running is its Own Reward?  Will run for cookies.

7.  Roam if you want to.  Do I drink more than my fair share of Gatorade?

6.  Stop.  Rewind.  Erase.  The scariest 4.5 minute video I’ve ever watched. 

5.  Who Let The Dogs Out?  Encounters with runner-eating four-legged furballs.

4.  The Hills Are Alive.  Don’t break my heart.  My achy breaky heart.

3.  Diagnosis: Old Age.  It’s true, I’m not 16 anymore.  Is there a pill for that? 

2.  Feed Me Seymour.  Does this marathon make me look fat?

And the winner, by unpopular vote, is …..

….

….

….

….

1.  Darkness my old friend.  I’m amused that a post with such a friendly title is shunned above all others.

 

Title Reference:  The Veronicas – Popular.  From the album Hook Me Up.  2008.

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I’ve been searching low and high

Posted on December 6, 2009 | 16 Comments

You may not know that if you link to a blog from a google search the blogger is given an informative little summary helpfully called, in my case, ”these are terms people used to find your blog“.   The search terms both amuse and scare bloggers everywhere.  It’s a little window into the minds and interests of others.   Think about that next time you google something weird.   There are some windows you don’t want to look through.  My daily list is usually rather boring, dominated by Barney Stintson running the New York City Marathon and young Micheal J. Fox.  I might start adding random words into my posts, just to confuse the search engines and jazz up my day.  Teddy Ruxpin.   Tsunami.  Floccinaucinihilipilification. 

When I first started this blog Husband came up with the clever play on words that is My Running Shorts.  I have since written about peeing, puking, and pooping, and all of those are frequently googled in combination with the word shorts.  Or in combination with the word running.  Bodily functions greatly interest googlers.  If I was more marketing savvy I would increase my production of portaloo related posts.  

Not surprisingly, the vast majority of my new found followers arrive here by way of their burning interest in running shorts.  They want to know about retro shorts, marine corps shorts, slit shorts, pink shorts, psychedelic shorts, mom shorts, stinky shorts, long shorts.  Hundreds are desperate to know, “why do runners wear short shorts?”  As a public service to all those googlers in need, please submit your answers to this question below.

For you, my six favourite “running shorts + random word” google searches:

  1. running shorts well endowed.  Is that a powerbar in your pocket?  Be it delusion or circus freak, they seem to need roomy shorts for their jumbo-sized packages.
  2. see-through running shorts.  I’m not sure I understand the point of see through shorts.  Do you wear underwear?  Are they see through too?  Or is it that your underwear are so awesome you want to show them off?  I once ran behind a woman who wore her underwear over her tights.  Beyond the shape and size, I knew they were underwear because I own the same pair.  Maybe she needs see through shorts, because I can’t imagine wearing underwear over tights is comfy.  Now if you go commando beneath your see-throughs, why bother wearing the shorts?  Naked seems the most effective see-through option, although it does offer little protection from the damaging elements. 
  3. women’s running shorts for really big legs.  I’m assuming their search for running shorts big legs was unsatisfactory, prompting the searcher to really emphasize their point about really big legs.  Really big.  I need to hill train with this woman.
  4. forrest gump running shorts.  The frequency with which people look for information on Forrest Gump’s shorts fascinates me.  It happens so often that I found myself googling forrest gump running shorts to see what all the fuss is about.  I still don’t know.  If you know, please tell me.  People are similarly interested in the running shorts of Ryan Hall.  His shorts are the reason he runs so fast.  At least that’s what Asics told me. 
  5. running shorts sex.  The intent of this search is unclear.  Do they want to have sex in running shorts, attract sex with running shorts, or is this the name of some sort of elite-level sex act?  I’m always left with more questions than answers.
  6. sustainable running shorts.  I think these are made from old running shoes.  Or maybe they biodegrade.  If so, don’t wear them in the rain.

Title Reference:  The Who – The Seeker.  From the album Meaty Beaty Big and Bouncy.  1971.

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