You know in those moments when you are kind of awake and kind of asleep and sort of dreaming but not really dreaming? In that moment, for some reason, I was running. And I was running like Phoebe. And it was fun. I may just try it for real. Also, Rachel runs kind of weird – glass houses Rachel, glass houses.
p.s. I gave up shows with laugh tracks. Now I remember why.
Title Reference: Alphaville – Forever Young. 1984.
Posted in Celebrity Sneakers, Running Tids & Bits
Tagged exercise, fitness, health, running, TV, TV show review
The Biggest Loser Marathon inspires (Source: http://tighthams.wordpress.com)
The Biggest Loser Marathon. That statement is controversial enough to finally lure lurkers into commenting on my posts. According to guides on how to write a popular blog the blogger is supposed to be divisive. Unfortunately, my thin skin isn’t controversy-proof. So I’ll stick to the facts. Mostly.
Several Losers have run marathons, or parts of a marathon, but the Biggest Loser TV show has hosted two official marathons with four runners each. The runners finish their tenure at the ranch, go home to get skinny for the finale, and to their surprise are told they are running a marathon in four weeks. They have been running, yes, but training for a marathon is more than just running. You know those ideas that seem good at the time? Well this one didn’t even seem good at the time. Except to the ratings counters. Unless injury is a good idea. But if Oprah can do it …. Whoops, I wanted to avoid controversy.
For only three easy payments of $19.99, you can own The Biggest Loser 4-Week Marathon Plan. Caution – marathons are longer than they appear. May cause permanent injury. Act now. Supplies are limitless.
We say time doesn’t matter, but secretly we really want to know how fast they ran. Are you faster than a Biggest Loser?
Daris (Season 9): 4.02 at 197 pounds (down from 346 pounds).
Tara (Season 8): 4.56 at 159 pounds (down from 294 pounds).
Helen (Season 8): 5.48 at 147 pounds (down from 257 pounds).
Koli (Season 9): 6.08 at 218 pounds (down from 403 pounds).
Ashley (Season 9): 6.26 at 231 pounds (down from 374 pounds).
Michael (Season 9): 6.26 at 299 pounds (down from 526 pounds).
Mike (Season 8): 8.58 at 214 pounds (down from 388 pounds).
Ron (Season 8): 13.16 at 279 pounds (down from 430 pounds).
It is interesting that the three sub-200 pound contestants are also the three fastest contestants. There certainly appears to be a relation between finish time and weight. Mike is a notable outlier, at only 214 pounds his finish time ranks among the heaviest runners. A little Excel magic confirms this EVA (expert visual assessment). The Pearson’s r correlation coefficient for finish time and race weight is .57, compared to .41 for finish time and starting weight. But both are solid correlations. Run to lose weight or lose weight to run? Remember your first year statistics: correlation doesn’t equal causation.
Title Reference: Beck – Loser. 1993.
Posted in Celebrity Sneakers, Reviews on the Run
Tagged exercise, fitness, health, marathon, running, TV, TV show review
Photo Credit: Guelph Mercury
Benedict Mulroney, son of former Prime Minister Brian Mulroney (for my non-Canadian readers, of which there is at least one, BM led the country from 1984 through 1993) is running. No, not for office.
Ben, for the unfamiliar, is an entertainment host on etalk, Canadian Idol, and other programs I have no interest in watching. I should disclaim that I am not a big fan of Ben Mulroney. His indestructible hair and spray on tan are off-putting. But mostly because I once watched an interview in which he denied that his family connections played any role in his rise to success and I wanted to send him Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers, but then I decided he can buy his own darn copy.
The news worthy of a post is that he ran a marathon Sunday. He’s been training for the Mississauga Marathon since February, running 5-6 times per week. I wonder why he decided to run the Mississauga Marathon and not the Ottawa Marathon, which is a much bigger stage and the route would take him past his former stomping grounds? I bet the Mississauga Marathon Director doesn’t care why. Already planning to run the race, Ben decided to use the opportunity to raise money for Big Mike, a friend who suffered a traumatic brain injury in a crash. I really like the idea of raising money for an individual verus an organization. According to the website donation thermometer the team of ten has raised $20,000. That seems rather low, given some of the fundraisers. Ben must have some friends with deep pockets. So must his sister Caroline, who reportedly also ran the marathon with the team, although my cyber-staking produces no finish time results for sister Mulroney. Husband failed at real life stalking and saw no evidence of Ben or the telltale entourage on the race course. Despite Husband’s failure as a PI, SportStats never lies and Ben ran this race in 3.47.03 chip (3.50.16 gun). The talk show host certanly isn’t all talk (oh yeah, you saw it coming).
Title Reference: Bonnie Rait – Something to Talk About. 1991.
Daris runs 5K in 21.04
I watch The Biggest Loser. The show tempts me into binge eating while watching, even though most of the contestants have lost more than I weigh. Or used to weigh, before I started my weekly two-hour Biggest Loser binges.
Contestant Daris George (pictured left) recently ran The Biggest Loser 5K race in 21.04. Then he ran back to collect his get-Dallas-fit-team, so the race wasn’t an all out effort for him. He’s young, so he has that annoying speed advantage. And he works out all day long. So he has that annoying fitness advantage. But he still weights 214 pounds and 4 months ago he weighed almost 350.
21.04. I don’t want to be a skeptic, but it comes naturally to me. I’m not convinced that his finish time is legit. Or more plausibly, the time is legit but the course wasn’t a full 5K. Were the interns out there with a measuring wheel or a counter? I think a car odometer is a bit more likely. In other words, not certified. A 21.04K is a 4.12/km (6.46/mile) pace. Again, I don’t want to be the skeptic, but that just seems …. unlikely without some mighty fine genetics. Where can I get some mighty fine genetics?
But perhaps he has a lot of natural speed and Jillian yelled him to the finish. I’d certainly run faster than usual if she was screaming at me. Plus, would the show risk another running scandal? He did reportedly run a real road race a month later in 21.16. A minute and a bit slower, despite another month of training, but still a great time.
What do you think, is his Biggest Loser 5K time legit?
Title Reference: C+C Music Factory – Things That Make You Go Hmmm. 1990.
Posted in Celebrity Sneakers, Running Tids & Bits
Tagged celebrity, exercise, fitness, health, running, TV, TV show review
Because I procrastinate I did not register in time to run the Boston Marathon this year, despite running three qualifying marathons (including Boston) in 2009. On Monday 25,000 runners will line up in Hopkinton. I will hop the subway to work. Secretly I’m relieved – Boston is expensive, and there’s a little bit of pressure, and I hate a long cold pre-race wait. Although I’m not running Boston this year I will busy myself thinking about the celebrity runners who have crossed and will cross that famous finish line.
In a few daysValerie Bertinelli will attempt to join the surprisingly short list of Boston Bound celebs (the stars seem to prefer New York City for marathon running). Only one celeb qualified to run and that same runner requalified at Boston. But he’s a pro athlete celeb and so I don’t think he counts. The rest of the runners in this star-studded field would not qualify based on their Boston finish time. But they are in good company. Less than 40% of Boston runners requalify while running the Boston Marathon, even though approximately 80% earned their spot with a qualifying race.
The List:
Lance Armstrong. SuperLance ran the Boston Marathon in 2008 at the age of 36. Finish time = 2.50.58. BQ time = 3.15. Difference = 25 minutes to spare. But I already said he doesn’t count.
Michael Dukakis. In 1951 this highschooler and future politician ran the Boston Marathon at the young age of 17. Finish time = 3.31.00. BQ time = 3.10. Difference = 21 minutes.
Will Ferrell. This funnyman isn’t joking around. He ran the Boston Marathon in 2003 at the age of 35. Finish time = 3.56.12. BQ time = 3.15. Difference = 41 minutes.
Lisa Ling. This talk show host turned reporter ran the Boston Marathon in 2002 at the age of 28. Finish time = 4.34.18. BQ time = 3.40. Difference = 54 minutes.
David James Elliott. JAG’s Harmon ran the Boston Marathon in 2000 at the age of 39. Finish time = 4:57:23. Tip = fewer crunches more running. BQ time = 3.20 (I gave him the 40 year old rate). Difference = 1 hour and 37 minutes.
Ali Landry. Ran the Boston Marathon in 2002 at the age of 28. Finish time = 5.41.41. BQ time = 3.40. Difference = 2 hours and 1 minute.
Mario Lopez. Ran the Boston Marathon (with his now ex-girlfriend Ali) in 2002 at the age of 29. Finish time = 5.41.41. BQ time = 3.10. Difference = 2 hours and 31 minutes. And he blamed his girlfriend for his time. Boo.
Tell me, who did I miss??
Title Reference: Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers – Roadrunner. 1972.
Posted in Celebrity Sneakers
Tagged Boston Marathon, celebrity, exercise, fitness, health, marathon, running
Dr. Seuss’ The Foot Book. Because it’s Friday.
Title Reference: Dean Martin – Happy Feet.
Posted in Celebrity Sneakers, Running Tids & Bits
I have a liberal definition of exercise. For example, if I watch a TV show and people talk about running that counts as running. I get in a great workout watching The Biggest Loser. It’s part of my mental training, which, if the experts are to be believed, is 90% of the marathon.
Last night I was watching Dead Like Me reruns and Daisy Adair says:
I never rush.
If I see someone running, I just assume they’re a loser.
Mason interjects,
Unless they’re a runner.
Daisy retorts -
Yeah, even then.
Especially then.
Workout complete.
Title Reference: Beck – Loser. From the album Mellow Gold. 1993.
Dear fellow bloggers,
Too busy to blog? Find running related videos on YouTube and try to pass them off as a post.
You’re welcome.
Chariots of Fur. What am I going to get now that I made it to the end of the beach? You get to run the other way. Old bean.
Taming of the Shoe. What to do with an unruly shoe? Tameth.
Posted in Celebrity Sneakers, Reviews on the Run
Tagged celebrity, exercise, fitness, health, running, TV, TV show review
A mini marathon. 26.2 feet. 42.2 metres. I’m not sure my math is right. But at my current level of (un)fitness, a turtle distance marathon would push me beyond my physical limit. I get winded just saying marathon. Shelly and her sweatband would leave me behind like that infamous Hare. My legs have forgotten how to run. Silently willing them to move faster has proven ineffective. Not so silently commanding them to go faster has similarly failed to work. My once light step has transformed into a painful clomp. My long run pace has become my tempo run pace. Half the distance seems twice as far. The glare from the untouched white pages of my logbook blinds me. My already paid for race entries mock me. It’s official, my new training cycle has begun. I survived week one. Barely. In the words of Shelly the Turtle, how did I get into this?
Title Reference: Cat Stevens – The First Cut is the Deepest. From the album New Masters. 1967.
Posted in Celebrity Sneakers, Reviews on the Run
Tagged celebrity, exercise, fitness, health, marathon, running, TV, TV show review
Valerie Bertinelli is running the Boston Marathon. One kilometre for every pound she lost eating prepackaged food. Okay, I made that last part up because I liked it when numbers intersect in random but seemingly meaningful ways. She didn’t qualify her way in, but is raising money to support cancer research at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston. The team of 500 runners wish to add another $4.4 million to the $43 million raised since the marathon challenge began in 1990. If my mental math is correct, that’s an average of $8,880 per person. That’s a tough goal for the average runner. I hope Jenny Craig is feeling generous.
Jenny Craig sure lucked out with this spokesperson. Excuse me Wikipedia, I mean activist: “she considers herself a health and weight-loss activist rather than a hired weight-loss spokesperson“. They say no publicity is bad publicity, but I’m not sure that holds in the weight loss industry. No offense Kirstie Alley and your near fatal fall off the boxed food wagon. I wonder if the newest addition to the Jenny Craig family, Jason Alexander, will lace up for New York 2010? Imagine the Seinfeld inspired alarm clock jokes. I give the Jenny Craig food producers a year before we see some sort of marathon power bar in their line of products. p.s. That last sentence entitles me to a cut of the profits.
To my celebrity-obsessed readers, what do you predict for her finish time? Will she beat Oprah?
Title Reference: Polly Cutter – This Is It. Theme Song from One Day at a Time .
Posted in Celebrity Sneakers
Tagged Boston Marathon, celebrity, exercise, fitness, health, marathon, running
John Stanton in the first Running Room store
Governor General Michaëlle Jean recently announced the names of 57 new appointments to the Order of Canada. Among them is John Stanton, founder of the Running Room. Once an overweight couch potato with a nicotine addiction this honour recognizes his role in promoting physical fitness and active lifestyles. The 100+ chain of running stores all started in 1984 with a single room (the running room, get it?) in Edmonton. His running spark ignited after 1981 3K race with his kids felt more like a marathon than a kiddie fun run. With 300 days a year on the road running races, fun runs, and giving motivation talks John is the face of his company and a tireless motivational speaker. No matter how many people he meets he seems to remember every one. Hell, two years later he even remembered the weather during our first run together. I can’t even remember what I ate for lunch Sunday. Oh right. Cake.
In his words (as told to The Edmonton Journal, not me), “I’m certainly honoured, but at the same time humbled. It’s an honour to be recognized. I’m a proud Canadian, and this is one of the higher awards you can get as a Canadian. But at the same time, I’m very proud we’ve been able to motivate a lot of people into becoming athletic.” Although his methods are not without dissenters (to walk or not to walk, that is the controversy), I’m pleased to see his role as a running advocate and supporter recognized. And not just because he sends me a paycheck a couple of times a year.
Title Reference: Queen – We are the champions. From the album News of the World. 1977.
Posted in Celebrity Sneakers, Running Tids & Bits
Tagged celebrity, exercise, fitness, health, marathon, running
Today is the first day of winter. The darkest day of the year.
I embrace the cold weather runs. This will not surprise my loyal readers, but I tend to fret about race day weather. Well-known fact #1: I self-destruct at high temperatures. Well known fact #2: By high I mean anything over 10C. Although DNA testing is inconclusive, I am most certainly a direct relation of the famous Snow Miser. The family resemblance is uncanny. I certainly won’t be inviting my extended family, Heat Miser and his sun-loving descendents, to Christmas dinner. You may recall the legendary family showdown captured in the compelling documentary A Year Without a Santa Claus:
Title Reference: The Snow Miser Song. From the movie the Year Without a Santa Claus. 1974.
Posted in Celebrity Sneakers, Running Tids & Bits
Tagged celebrity, exercise, fitness, health, marathon, running, weather, winter
Dowey at SickKids. Source/Photo Credit: CP24 news (Canadian Press/Nathan Denette)
The giant joint, erm Olympic Torch, recently passed through my ‘hood. This was but one stop on the 106 day 45,000 National Relay to the Vancouver Winter Olympic Games. Around 260 people will run 48K (300 metres at a time, which seems an odd distance) with the torch through the streets of the GTA. Among the runners is Murray Dowey, 1948 Olympic Gold Medalist in hockey and retired TTC employee. His torchbearing segment was to include a ride on the iconic TTC streetcar (holding the flame out the window, lest the iconic streetcar go up in smoke) but a detour to avoid the protesters reportedly foiled this plan (I can’t confirm the reports; I wasn’t there). The story of his eleventh-hour call to an already last-minute ragtag team of underdogs (The Royal Canadian Airforce Flyers) that won Olympic gold makes me nostalgic for an Olympic games of big hopes without the big sponsorships.
Dowey is not the only celebrity who took a hit from the flame. Not to worry, they didn’t inhale. Former Olympians (should I say former? Once an Olympian always an Olympian?) Marnie McBean, Brian Orser, and Vicky Sunohara, ballerina Karen Kain, astronaut Roberta Bondar, filmmakers Ivan and Jason Reitman, director Deepa Mehta, and Bollywood star Akshay Kumarall all joined the red carpet relay around town. I wonder if they needed to submit an application to coca-cola?
My running group planned a run that, if the timing worked out, would have us crossing paths with the famous flame. As we ran along the torch route in our matching run club outfits tens of people went mad with excitement thinking we were the torch-relayers. Low-key torch runners without the patriotic red and white uniforms, police escort, or live-action commercial disguised as a parade. Cries of “where’s the torch”, “WHERE’S THE TORCH” echoed as we dashed by on the sidewalk. The torch, as it turns out, was delayed by an hour due to protesting and, I suspect, a stop to satisfy those munchies.
Title Reference: Whitney Houston – One Moment in Time. From the album One Moment in Time: 1988 Summer Olympics Album. 1988.
Posted in Celebrity Sneakers, Running Tids & Bits
Tagged celebrity, exercise, fitness, fun run, health, Olympics, running
Oh Archie. Won’t your crazy antics ever end? In today’s episode philanthroptic teens Archie and Better are volunteering at a water table for the Riverdale Run Marathon. Not unexpectedly, Veronica is nowhere to be found. Marathons are contagious and Betty convinces Archie to join her in running the upcoming Riverdale High Marathon. Seriously, is Riverdale big enough to support two marathons? I’m assuming the Riverdale High Marathon is open to everyone because even in cartoon Archie looks like he’s knock knock knocking on 40′s door.
Never having run even one marathon Archie boldly proclaims ”one day I’m going to win a marathon”. Levelheaded Betty reminds Archie that “everyone who finishes a marathon is a winner”. Tell that to anti-plodder Juliet Macur from the New York Times. Archie learns he can’t run a marathon in his flipflops so Betty takes him to Fleet Feet to buy shoes so cushiony it feels like running on marshmallows. I would’ve pegged him as an overpronator.
Ever the optimist our girl next door cozies up to Archie calling him her ”marathon man”. Six comic editions later in a weird flashforward Marathon Man proposes to Veronica, leaving Betty alone at the metaphorical finish line. Three editions later he proposes to Betty. Marathon training can be tough on relationships.
I haven’t read the comic and I can’t find a spoiler on line, so sleuthy readers … please tell me, is Archie faster than Oprah?
Title Reference: The Archies - Sugar Sugar. 1969.
Posted in Celebrity Sneakers, Reviews on the Run
Tagged celebrity, exercise, fitness, health, marathon, running
A reindeer can reach a top speed of about 32 miles/hour (51 km/hour). The circumference of the earth at the equator is 40,075 km. My calculator tells me that it will take Rudy 785 hours to circle the globe, assuming a constant top speed and the ability to run on water. That’s over a month (32 days and a bit) to complete the full loop. Too bad for the kids who don’t live along the equator. The twelve days of Christmas suddenly seem woefully inadequate.
Lucky for us reindeer can fly.
Title Reference: Chuck Berry – Run Rudolph Run. B-side to Merry Christmas Baby. 1958.
Posted in Celebrity Sneakers, Running Tids & Bits
Tagged celebrity, cookies, exercise, fitness, health, running, weather, winter
My Running Shorts: short stories about my life on the run.
