I went back to the hospital and was given the reassuring news that my brain doesn’t seem to be swollen or bleeding, it’s just concussed. Because I’m an insane person who thought I’d be running two days post-concussion (crazy or hopelessly optimistic, you decide), I don’t think my doc trusts judgement and so he gave me a helpful return to running plan. It’s actually a return to playing hockey plan, because… this is Canada? Apparently the same principles apply.
I’m still in the sit on my ass and watch Netflix* “recovery” stage, which typically takes an agonizingly long 1-2 weeks. Individual results may vary. My individual result after a week without running is 5 extra pounds of cheese and baguette weight.
Then I can look forward to light aerobic exercise like walking. I live in the city, walking isn’t exercise it is a non-optional lifestyle. In stage three I can finally ‘add movement’, like running drills in soccer. I don’t play ball or puck sports, but I’m going to assume running drills in soccer are equivalent to running drills in running. So in stage three, I run. This plan was not designed for impatient people trying to get faster. Hopefully it won’t be long before I can work my way back to non-contact training drills and eventually full contact practice. Look out teammates, I’ll be knocking you off the track in no time.
So, I’m basically not to do anything until I’m symptom free for 24 hours. I asked and apparently the symptoms I must be free of include the piercing headache that I’ve had since the moment of impact and I’m beginning to think will never go away even though I’ve consumed my body weight in extra-strength Tylenol. In other words, I may never run again.
I’m also not to work until I’m symptom free for the same length of time, but I’m pretty much at the end of that rope having now taken more days off than I’ve taken in any single year since I became a full-time person who works for a living. I wish work had nap time, because I’m taking about three per day and still yawn my way through dinner.
*My Netflix Canada sitcom pics if you have a concussion and are housebound during a polar vortex and need a laugh: Episodes, Archer, Happy Endings, Portlandia, IT Crowd, Arrested Development, Community, The Office (UK), Raising Hope (for the parents, give it a few episodes). If I’ve missed something funny let me know. The movement phase is still a few days away. That’s enough time for at least one season.
Title: Great Big Sea – Helmethead.