I knew every lane way in Ontario

A few months ago I set a goal. One of those idealized “tough but achievable ones”. I made a few goal reaching attempts during my Charleston Marathon training, but as most of my runs were under cover of darkness while I evaded security I wasn’t successful. But today, I thought, today is the day. I had a 30K run planned. In daylight. Plenty of mileage to do what needed to be done.

My goal? To run every road in Mount Pleasant Cemetery.

Like my hero Ed Whitlock, I log a lot of graveyard miles. I know this particular cemetery very well. Most runners stick to the four main trails, but there are numerous (and more interesting) wee paths branching and looping and twisting and turning. 30K in one cemetery might sound boring, but I never tire of MPC. Every run I discover something new.

To be successful I knew I needed to be methodical. The way I was as a child reading those “choose your own adventure novels“. I would painstakingly map out every possible story path and then I would read them all, starting with the one that interested me the most then going through all the other combinations. In sequence. I was a strange child. Today I approached the cemetery challenge in much the same way. My only rule: no maps. This was an unaided challenge.

I divided the cemetery into east and west. I usually run east, the easier of the two, first. This leaves the twists and hills and endless roundabouts on the west for tired legs and a glucose deprived brain. So today I headed west. I divided the west into quadrants and systematically tackled each one, double and triple and quadruple backtracking as required. I ran all the way around every roundabout, just to be sure. I dedicated 20 of my 30Ks to the west. I was confident the west was won.

Then I headed east. I know the east side. I have successfully run every path on the east side countless times. I know the length of every road. I once ran an entire 30K on the east side only. In the dark. The east side, I confidently believed, would be easy. It was the west side that needed my consideration and attention, not the east side. I was cocky the east was mine.

Dammit.

My misses, circled in red.

I am not convinced those two paths on the west side exist (gamblers: you can bet good money that I will be there within the next ten days to confirm), but I have no excuse for those two glaring omissions on the left. For some unknown reason I didn’t circle the central roundabout and I never once ran straight down the eastern most line. Overconfidence. It’ll get you every time.

Husband kindly blamed Garmin, but faced with the evidence I instantly knew I had missed those east end sections. I remembered not running them. I may complain about the little guy, but this is some pretty impressive satellite tracking. Some of the roundabouts are only eight steps in circumference and many of the paths are the same in length. I’m mighty impressed by my Garmin.  It was me. I didn’t respect the east. I know that now. I have no one to blame but myself. I hate it when that happens.

Title: Barenaked Ladies – Bank Job. 2006.