The moment the year changes would-be resolutioners flock to my gym and steal my favourite spin bike and the one bearable spot next to the door in my so-hot-I-want-to-die yoga classes. I practice the fine art of patience and wait for them to disappear on January 21. I was not, however, expecting the online onslaught of google searchers seeking information about running shorts. I suppose it makes sense that those new gym goers will have a mulitude of shorts-related fashion questions. Unless they go to my YMCA, in which case demin cutoffs from 1974 and an XXL tshirt-with-purchase from a case of beer will suffice.
In 2009 running shorts lover sought me out in search of answers to their short shorts questions (click to see Part I). In the seven days that have passed in 2010 they have flocked to my blog in search of …
- my running shorts erection - This search term sent two people. Or one desperate person twice. I’ve heard Viagra is a running enhancer, just make sure you have room to, erm, accomodate.
- loincloth running shorts – Does loincloth wick?
- running shorts banana hammock - When that liner just isn’t enough you need the full support of a built-in banana hammock. Suddenly men can sympathize with the women who need to wear two bras.
- skimpy running shorts – Are there any other kind?
- woman with bigger legs than men – I weight less than most (fat) children and I have bigger legs than those sub 2.10 Kenyans. Be more specific with your searches.
- running shorts for rain – They don’t get wet. For treadmill use only.
- i’m a women who pooped in her pants – I do not know if this is running related or just one wild new year’s eve. I hope she found whatever she was searching for.
- panties underneath compression shorts? – My weird aversion to the word panties aside, finally, a question I can answer.
Title Reference: The Who – The Seeker. From the album Meaty Beaty Big and Bouncy. 1971.
re no. 1: If you have a marathon that lasts more than four hours, contact your doctor.
wow. these are excellent search terms. i can’t own up to using any of them though to get here. sorry
These are awesome. And only half of them from me.
The other day I had a hit for someone who searched for “fuck snow.”
I was scared.
As for the woman who pooped her pants – I think she was just on the search for someone in the same boat as her. Or, in her case, same shorts as her. Filthy, filthy shorts.
Misery does love company. Filthy, filthy company. That’s why I spent yesterday googling “fuck snow”.