You are my candy girl
December 17, 2009
Oh Archie. Won’t your crazy antics ever end? In today’s episode philanthroptic teens Archie and Better are volunteering at a water table for the Riverdale Run Marathon. Not unexpectedly, Veronica is nowhere to be found. Marathons are contagious and Betty convinces Archie to join her in running the upcoming Riverdale High Marathon. Seriously, is Riverdale big enough to support two marathons? I’m assuming the Riverdale High Marathon is open to everyone because even in cartoon Archie looks like he’s knock knock knocking on 40’s door.
Never having run even one marathon Archie boldly proclaims ”one day I’m going to win a marathon”. Levelheaded Betty reminds Archie that “everyone who finishes a marathon is a winner”. Tell that to anti-plodder Juliet Macur from the New York Times. Archie learns he can’t run a marathon in his flipflops so Betty takes him to Fleet Feet to buy shoes so cushiony it feels like running on marshmallows. I would’ve pegged him as an overpronator.
Ever the optimist our girl next door cozies up to Archie calling him her ”marathon man”. Six comic editions later in a weird flashforward Marathon Man proposes to Veronica, leaving Betty alone at the metaphorical finish line. Three editions later he proposes to Betty. Marathon training can be tough on relationships.
I haven’t read the comic and I can’t find a spoiler on line, so sleuthy readers … please tell me, is Archie faster than Oprah?
Title Reference: The Archies - Sugar Sugar. 1969.
Entry Filed under: Celebrity Sneakers, Reviews on the Run. Tags: celebrity, exercise, fitness, health, marathon, running.
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1.
ilikemargarine | December 18, 2009 at 8:19 am
I am afraid you have fallen victim to the oldest trick in the book.
If you look closely at the sign, it reads “Riverdale High MINI-Marathon.” And in their initial conversation, Betty even says “We can train for the Riverdale High Mini-Marathon coming up in a few months.” We can assume it’s not actually 26.2, unless it’s a full-length marathon for midgets and Archie is able to snag an entry as a celebrity.
This also solves the dilemma over whether they can support two marathons, since one of them isn’t. Or they could just do what we do in Phoenix, schedule all seven of our marathons on the same weekend. How convenient.
So no matter what his finishing time is, he will still be no match for The Oprah. And if he were, the O would just buy his comic book and shut it down. Do not mess with Oprah.
Glad I could help.
2.
runshorts | December 18, 2009 at 1:49 pm
Maybe by mini they mean a full-length marathon that is small in size, with a 50-person entry limit. How many marathoners can there be at Riverdale High anyway, what with all that ice cream sundae dating, soda pop drinking, hot dog eating, and jalopy-fixing? I choose to believe that Archie did not spend all his DJ money on cushiony new sneakers just to run 4.2k. I also choose to believe that he will eventually pick Betty.
3.
angryrunner | December 18, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Did Jughead try and hand out burgers?
4.
runshorts | December 18, 2009 at 7:30 pm
I’m not sure he’s apt to give away burgers.
5.
Dave | December 18, 2009 at 2:41 pm
I must get a copy of that edition!
Possible spoiler Alerts?
Moose wins the Clydesdale Division while Carrying Midge (The true hottie of Riverdale)
Coach Kleats wins the Masters Division
6.
runshorts | December 18, 2009 at 5:54 pm
My money is on Big Ethel for the women’s title. All that time spent running after Jughead did wonders for her endurance.