You may not know that if you link to a blog from a google search the blogger is given an informative little summary helpfully called, in my case, ”these are terms people used to find your blog“. The search terms both amuse and scare bloggers everywhere. It’s a little window into the minds and interests of others. Think about that next time you google something weird. There are some windows you don’t want to look through. My daily list is usually rather boring, dominated by Barney Stintson running the New York City Marathon and young Micheal J. Fox. I might start adding random words into my posts, just to confuse the search engines and jazz up my day. Teddy Ruxpin. Tsunami. Floccinaucinihilipilification.
When I first started this blog Husband came up with the clever play on words that is My Running Shorts. I have since written about peeing, puking, and pooping, and all of those are frequently googled in combination with the word shorts. Or in combination with the word running. Bodily functions greatly interest googlers. If I was more marketing savvy I would increase my production of portaloo related posts.
Not surprisingly, the vast majority of my new found followers arrive here by way of their burning interest in running shorts. They want to know about retro shorts, marine corps shorts, slit shorts, pink shorts, psychedelic shorts, mom shorts, stinky shorts, long shorts. Hundreds are desperate to know, “why do runners wear short shorts?” As a public service to all those googlers in need, please submit your answers to this question below.
For you, my six favourite “running shorts + random word” google searches:
- running shorts well endowed. Is that a powerbar in your pocket? Be it delusion or circus freak, they seem to need roomy shorts for their jumbo-sized packages.
- see-through running shorts. I’m not sure I understand the point of see through shorts. Do you wear underwear? Are they see through too? Or is it that your underwear are so awesome you want to show them off? I once ran behind a woman who wore her underwear over her tights. Beyond the shape and size, I knew they were underwear because I own the same pair. Maybe she needs see through shorts, because I can’t imagine wearing underwear over tights is comfy. Now if you go commando beneath your see-throughs, why bother wearing the shorts? Naked seems the most effective see-through option, although it does offer little protection from the damaging elements.
- women’s running shorts for really big legs. I’m assuming their search for running shorts big legs was unsatisfactory, prompting the searcher to really emphasize their point about really big legs. Really big. I need to hill train with this woman.
- forrest gump running shorts. The frequency with which people look for information on Forrest Gump’s shorts fascinates me. It happens so often that I found myself googling forrest gump running shorts to see what all the fuss is about. I still don’t know. If you know, please tell me. People are similarly interested in the running shorts of Ryan Hall. His shorts are the reason he runs so fast. At least that’s what Asics told me.
- running shorts sex. The intent of this search is unclear. Do they want to have sex in running shorts, attract sex with running shorts, or is this the name of some sort of elite-level sex act? I’m always left with more questions than answers.
- sustainable running shorts. I think these are made from old running shoes. Or maybe they biodegrade. If so, don’t wear them in the rain.
Title Reference: The Who – The Seeker. From the album Meaty Beaty Big and Bouncy. 1971.
Thank you for this.
Other than the “race pee” hits I kept getting for awhile, I have nothing nearly this fun to report thus far.
The reading public are strangely obsessed with peeing runners.
How short are short shorts? I tend to wear shorts with around 3-4″ inseam length, with a few up to 6″ in length. No split shorts here, which are both shorter still, and more revealing.
I want to race (and train) in the lightest shorts possible with a high range of motion. I’ve ran a race in nearly knee length shorts and they kept getting hung up when my legs started to sweat, so from then on, I’m sticking to shorter stuff. I won’t wear short tight shorts (although I wear tights in the fall/winter without over-shorts)
On a positive note, I’ve never been told my shorts are too short, so I’ll stick with what works for me.
if no one has commented and the wolf whistles are kept to a minimum the shorts aren’t too short.
If someone ever tells you to keep it in the house I advise look for a longer style.
Funny, I actually found your blog by googling “running shorts sex.” To clear up the confusion, it is indeed an elite-level sex act. I was hoping you’d have some sort video instructional. For educational purposes of course. Don’t worry, I have since made my own.
A friend wants to know, is proof of elite status required before viewing such a video?
Admit it, by friend you mean yourself. And I was thinking about posting it on my blog but I’m thinking I may need to charge and sell some DVD copies. There is some cash potential here.
Now that you’ve gone public you need to move fast. I suspect at least three copycat videos are in the works. Two are mine.
yesterday someone found me by searching for “women with hairy toes.” Probably the same person who’s into elite-level sex acts.
For sure. They need the hair for traction.
Leg hair does help. It’s why I only shave one at a time.
Practical and efficient.
Welcome seeker of “denim running shorts”. Check out my Miley Cyrus entry. I think you’ll enjoy it.
And today: “ego running shorts”. I hate conceited shorts. Thinking I’m not good enough to wear them.
LOL guess what word drew me to your blog……
It’s official. I talk about the loo too often.