A little old driver so lively and quick

I just paid money to do two things I have never done before. 

Thing 1:  Run in costume.  I almost always race in the same outfit, give or take a layer.  My race outfit.  Tried and true it doesn’t shift, chafe, or look repulsive in photos (repulsive being a relative term after 35K).  Not this time.  This time I will run in full Santa gear, beard included. 

Thing 2: Run a 5K road race.  You think my claims to be created entirely from slow-twitch muscle are in jest.  I jest not.  My marathon race pace and my 5K race pace are the same.  It takes me a full 10K to warmup; a 5K race ends before I begin.  So I shall start with a 5K fun run, not a serious 5K race.  How fast can I go with a little round belly that shakes when I laugh like a bowl full of jelly?  I’m just running for the milk and cookies.

Check out the video footage from the inaugural 2008 Running of the Santas.  I’m not so sure about the winning Santas.  Did anyone else spot the imposters among them?   The lead man managed to stop along the way to shave his beard and he still won the race.  Suspicious.  The winning female somehow lost her red pants.  Santa does not wear black running tights.  Very suspicious.  The second place male isn’t in costume at all, he seems to be wearing an old red t-shirt over a white shirt, with those tell-tale black tights.  Fake-Santa needs a better disguise.  Or a new tailor.  The third place male also stopped for facial grooming.  That’s not something I’d want to do in a hurry.  I’m not one to subscribe to conspiracy theories, but I don’t think the winners are real Santas.  

Running With Scissors was part of the fun last year and it was his suggestion that inspired me to sign up.  This year 2000 bearded, overheated, and overstuffed Santas are anticipated.  That’s a one-year increase of 500 Santas.  I was tardy about registering and was punished with a kid-sized costume.  Look for me.  I’ll be the one in short pants.

Title Reference:  Quote from the poem Account of a Visit from St. Nicholas by Clement Clark Moore.  1823.