Race t-shirting, verb. The art of wearing a race t-shirt.
By following the 10 Commandments of Race Shirt Etiquette you should survive your first few races without smiting, run mishaps, or social ridicule. This collection of commandments was informed (and sometimes blatantly plagiarized) by the trail-blazing work of concerned runners (people like this dude). But running etiquette and norms do change with time, so submissions for additions and modifications are always needed. Note: The commandments apply both to the finisher’s shirt and, when appropriate, to all official race gear (i.e. that extra race-branded gear you are lured into purchasing as you walk through the expo in a carbo-loaded daze throwing away money).
[Disclaimer - If you take this sort of thing seriously, rather than tongue-in-cheek as intended, I recommend a nice stress-relieving run. Everyone knows you should wear what you want where you want when you want].
1. You shall not wear the finisher’s t-shirt before you finish the event*. Say it with me: finisher.
2. You shall not wear a finisher’s t-shirt if you did not finish (or did not start) the event. To wear a race t-shirt is to boldly proclaim ‘I finished this race’. Exceptions: Volunteers (because you wouldn’t have an event to run in without them, thank you volunteers) and children under 16, preferably your own. The latter is primarily for covert boasting purposes, in that your child can proudly proclaim ‘no I didn’t run the Dirt Trail 20K but my mom did’. There are some runners who believe the shirt may be worn if DNF/DNS is displayed prominently across the shirt in permanent ink. The safest course of action is to avoid wearing it entirely, otherwise you will end up spending your precious run time explaining to rookies and bewildered veterans the meaning of DNF/DNS. In recent years some lenient runners have tried to justify the wearing of DNF/DNS shirts based on the argument that they did the training for the race and through the training earned the right to wear the shirt. They are wrong.
3. You shall not wear the race shirt in the event you are currently racing. To do so is to boldly proclaim ‘I am a rookie racer’. Moreover, under no circumstances should one masquerade as a rookie by wearing the race shirt as a means of sandbagging. Exception: if the marketing geniuses force you to wear their (possibly ill-fitting and not chafe-resistant) shirt by stencilling your bib number directly to the tee.
4. You shall wear old race shirts in the current race. To maximize the impact wear a race shirt that will make the veterans feel outclassed and will terrify the rookies. Although the criteria varies from race to race, in general an intimidating race shirt advertises (i) a particularly difficult race (anything with the word Death in the name is a good bet), (ii) a prestigious or glamorous race (Boston is the classic), (iii) a distance that exceeds the race distance, or (iv) past runnings of the current event, so everyone knows you’ve been running it since 1982. If you don’t yet own intimidating race gear just wear a fancy technical outfit with a Garmin strapped to your wrist and look like you know what you are doing.
5. You shall wear old race shirts to the expo. They are great conversation starters and the admiring looks (which will depend on the nature of the shirt, see #4) will give you a confidence boost.
6. You shall not buy friends and family members official race gear as souvenirs of your race. If they want the race gear hand them a registration form and a 16-week training program.
7. You shall not deface the sacred finisher’s t-shirt. If you oppose some aspect of the event (be it the corporate sponsor, the route, whatever) boycott the race, not the shirt.
8. You shall not write your finish time on your shirt, no matter how impressive. The wearing of the shirt is bragging enough.
9. You shall retire a favourite race shirt in a timely manner. If you are wearing a shirt and we can see any combination of your nipples, your chest hair, your ‘I heart Mom’ tattoo, and/or sweat stains that date back to high school, lay it to rest.
10. You shall harass race organizers into offering men and women specific shirts. We all know that unisex is another word for men. [Disclaimer: this may not be so much a commandment as a personal agenda].
* Some people, I’m looking at you husband, believe that the wearing of a race shirt to bed the night before a race brings good luck to the runner. This has not been scientifically proven, but I am not one to underestimate the power of the placebo. You too may have quirky exceptions to the commandments, but I do not advocate blatant disregard of the rules. You rule-break at your own risk.
ok, ok, lesson learned.
Now I know why it rained so much at ATB – I was smote by association!
I even did a little rain dance before the race. I think it made it rain a little harder!
I promise to be good in future races
Guilty as charged. I broke the 1st and 3rd commandments in Boston and the result was double cramps and the most miserable second half I have ever run.
Which brings me to a question. What are rules about shoes? I feel like I should retire every shoe that does marathon duty (with honors). But I am scared to offend the Gods of the Marathon. What should I do?
One final good-bye run is appropriate, everyone needs a private moment to say good-bye.